Summer Evenings & Classic Kids Games

When I say classic kids games, I don’t mean Trouble or Monopoly or some other board games, I mean Man Hunt, Capture the Flag, Red Rover, and pick up games of soccer in an empty field.I’m sure plenty of kids have gotten together and played these games in some way, shape or forms in their lives. At least, I truly hope so, because I have some amazing memories of summer evenings involving these games.

I lived in a neighborhood called Biazza Ridge, back when my dad was making the transition from captain to major – according to my father this was centuries ago. I lived on a small cul-de-sac and the neighborhood was overrun with kids in and around my age. Summer evenings in North Carolina are long, hot and muggy and the neighborhood was a ton of close knit houses with small patches of tall pine trees in between culs-de-sac. They were perfect. Perfect for neighborhood wide games of Man Hunt and Capture the Flag – 50 kids would join in and divide up and just…blend into the trees on their separate sides of the neighborhood. Games would last for hours – certainly until the street lights came on and sometimes longer if we begged and plead enough with our parents.

It was easier to convince our parents to let us stay out later during the summer evenings when there would be block parties. Some family would pull their grill around front, throw up a couple folding tables and neighbors would just flow over with more chairs, meats, dishes, and coolers full of soda and beer. A radio would turn on and the evening would be spent mingling. There was nothing like a block party in Biazza Ridge in the summer. They’re probably held all around the country, but in the couple years I’ve lived off bases…I have yet to see some much as a glimmer of a block party nor a pack of children planning a game of Man Hunt.

It’s too bad – they’re childhood memories I plan to cherish for years to come. I know many of my Biazza Ridge pals still do.

Until Next Time,

Katie

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An Interview with Elmo

All of today’s blog post came courtesy of the Defense Center of Excellence.

For more information, visit their blog:  http://www.dcoe.health.mil/blog/Default.aspx?id=1

At DCoE’s Facebook page, military families can find more posts and videos about Sesame Workshop’s “When Families Grieve” initiative, as well as other helpful information concerning psychological health and traumatic brain injury issues. 

http://www.facebook.com/DCoEpage?v=info#!/DCoEpage?v=wall

 

And now…an interview with Elmo :)

 

Elmo and Family Look at a Picture of Uncle Jack

In the series, “When Families Grieve,” Sesame Workshop’s latest phase of the Talk, Listen, Connect initiative, Elmo and his cousin Jesse cope with the loss of Jesse’s father, “Uncle Jack.”

Elmo sat down with the DCoE Blog Team (DBT) to discuss how he remembers Uncle Jack and copes with his feelings.

DBT: Elmo, we’re so happy to be here with you today. Thank you for taking the time to share your feelings about Uncle Jack’s death and how you coped with those feelings. By sharing, you are helping other families and kids who are dealing with the death of a loved one.

DBT: Elmo, what kind of feelings did you have when Uncle Jack died?

Elmo: Elmo was sad. It took a while for Elmo to realize that his uncle wasn’t going to be around anymore. Elmo didn’t really understand at first….Elmo misses Uncle Jack.

DBT: Did you feel like it was hard to open up with your loved ones?

Elmo: No, Elmo had a lot of questions, so he asked questions. Jesse, Elmo’s cousin, had more of a problem opening up about her dad dying.

DBT: Elmo, did Jesse talk to anyone about her feelings?

Elmo: Yeah, she talked and opened up to Elmo’s daddy. She knew she could talk to Elmo’s dad – that was her daddy’s brother. She knew there was a major connection between Elmo’s daddy and Uncle Jack so she opened up to him – especially when she heard Elmo’s daddy talk about how much he missed Uncle Jack, his brother.

DBT: So Jesse felt more comfortable at first talking to adults then talking to kids.

Elmo: Yeah, she could connect to Elmo’s daddy about what he was going through. And she was concerned about talking to her mommy, Elmo’s Aunt Jill, because she was afraid of making her upset.

DBT: Sometimes when you miss Uncle Jack, do you feel like you have a friend, or an adult that you can go talk to, to help you understand?

Elmo: Elmo can always go to his mommy and daddy, and now that Jesse is more open about talking about her dad, Elmo can talk to Jesse too.

DBT: How do you remember Uncle Jack?

Elmo: Well Jesse has a memory box that sometimes she opens up, and we get to see fun things that she kept about her dad in the memory box.

DBT: Ohh. What are some of those things?

Elmo: Well, there was a whoopee cushion in there and the snakes that come out of the can. And there was wonderful pictures of Jesse and Uncle Jack in there too.

DBT: Elmo, Uncle Jack was a pretty silly guy, wasn’t he?

Elmo: He was very silly.

Elmo: So I bet you guys remember a lot of the silly things he used to say, and you used to do together.

Elmo: Yeah, well Uncle Jack taught Elmo how to swing a bat, and so he gave Elmo his favorite baseball cap. And he taught Elmo a really, really silly way how to swing a baseball bat to make sure he connects with the ball.

DBT: Are there other things that you guys do together to remember Uncle Jack.

Elmo: Well, we go to the ballpark together. Elmo’s dad takes us both to the ballpark because that’s what Jesse and her daddy used to love doing.

DBT: So you have your memory box, you go to the ballpark, you remember things he taught you. What else do you and Jesse do?

Elmo: Other than that, we just like being together because we’re cousins, so we have a good time.

…It’s very important to talk about Uncle Jack, we miss Uncle Jack, but also we enjoy being together. So it’s not just always thinking about Uncle Jack…that usually comes up because that’s what connects us, but other things, like just being kids and having a good time.

DBT: Do you feel better now?

Elmo: It took a little time to get there because Elmo was sad about not seeing Uncle Jack. But now Elmo is better, and Elmo and Jesse know it’s OK to be happy too!

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“We Who Have Seen War, Will Never Stop Seeing It.” A quote that applies to soldiers and families alike.

I have a  3 year old little girl  who’s father came back from Iraq in 2008 and is disabled at 70% (purple heart)  and she doesn’t remember him… since she was an infant she hasn’t noticed or asked about him…but now that she is three she is starting to see that she is different from other kids… She doesn’t have a daddy…he has mental problems and is damage[d] from fighting in the war and left the state after about 3 months trying to live here in florida…. she hasn’t seen him and doesn’t know about him… I am looking for help in trying not to hurt her and have her understand and thought that other kids might have a better perspective on it…
any thought would be appreciated..
thanks.
-From a worried mom
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Children “Deploy” for Day to Afghanistan

Children ‘deploy’ for day to Afghanistan

By Sharilyn Wells

Paraglide

April 1, 2010

On Saturday, children dressed in camouflage lined up in the troop readiness center to take passport pictures before “deploying” to Afghanistan. No, the Army isn’t recruiting children; the little recruits prepared to go on a fun-filled journey to explore the country where their military parent is currently deployed.

Families United hosted Camp Desert Kids at the Corregidor Courts/Bougainville Neighborhood Center on Fort Bragg with the help of volunteers from Company B, 327th Field Artillery Regiment.

According to their mission statement, Camp Desert Kids’ mission is to help military children better understand the deployments that shape their lives.

Camp Desert Kids teaches children through fun and educational activities to help them through parental deployments.

Due to the 82nd Airborne Division recent deploy ments to Afghanistan, this particular Camp Desert Kids was geared towards learning about the Afghan culture.

The children who participated received “orders” before the event telling them when and where to show up. Upon arrival they were given a passport and guided through the many stages and events of the “deployment” scheduled for the day. During in-processing, volunteers from Co. B, 327th FAR, took the children’s picture in desert camouflage uniforms for their passports and then they were sent to headquarters to color a postcard to send to their parents in Afghanistan.

Along with the 327th volunteers, David Champagne, Ph. D., 4th Psychological Operations Group cultural expert for Afghanistan, provided a knowledgable talk and showed authentic Afghan clothing, rice and flat bread, military tents and cots, and of course, soccer balls and kites.

“I believe this is a good thing for kids … to understand what’s happened and a nicer way of putting things,” said Pvt. 1st Class Jareth Schults, Co. B, 327th FAR, a volunteer at the event.

According to Camp Desert Kids community affairs Manager, Brynn Vollmer, the program serves to help American children learn that Afghan children do the same things they do, just differently. Camp Desert Kids helps military children understand the separation from their parent and visualize where their mother or father has gone.

Anna Bray brought her two children to the event, Justin and Lexi, to help them better understand where their father is. Not only is their father deployed to Afghanistan, their six uncles are deployed there as well, all with the 82nd Airborne Division.

“This is a really confusing time for them. They are like, ‘What’s going on?’” she said. “(Camp Desert Kids) is a great way to help explain.”

Camp Desert Kids began as a Family tradition for Families United Volunteer, Katie Glenn. Being a military child herself, Glenn remembered how she felt while her father deployed for long periods of time.

“The hardest part was not knowing where he was,” she said. “I would read every book on the country he was in.”

Glenn’s mother had coordinated small activities for the children in her father’s unit while the unit was deployed. The ac tivities included Polaroid pictures, cultural arts and crafts, and fun facts about the country. Glenn interned for Families United during her sophomore year of college and soon brought the small Family tradition to executive Director, Brian Wise’s, attention.

“We thought it was a great idea to limit the unknown about deployment for military children and we hope to continue on with the event,” Wise said. Wise also explained that in the future, with the help of the Afghan Embassy, Families United will have further learning and curriculums for children to follow – up online to provide further explanaAfghanistantion and education.

Families United is the nation’s largest non-profit, military Family organization to help support and provide resources to both deployed military Families and Families who have lost a parent.

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Register for Camp Desert Kids at Fort Bragg!

cdkimage

Register Now for

Camp Desert Kids!

March 27, 2010, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., 
Corregidor Courts/Bougainville Neighborhood Center

 

Camp Desert Kids is coming to Fort Bragg on March 27! If your soldier is currently deployed to Afghanistan, we hope that you and your children will join us on this fun and educational journey. Learning about Afghanistan and where your soldier is, Camp Desert Kids enables our children to connect the dots of deployment through an exciting event tailored for the little mind.

As military families, we know all too well the challenges of deployments. Families United’s Camp Desert Kids serves to help our children learn through games, fun facts, and cultural activities.

Please join us on March 27, 2010 at the Corregidor Courts/Bougainville Neighborhood Center between 11:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. The exact time of your journey will be sent to you when you register.  Space is limited, so register today! Registration will be open until March 19. 

Lunch will be served. Children should be between the ages of 3 and 12.

If you have any questions, please contact Brynn at Brynn@FamiliesUnitedMission.com or at (202) 293-4656.

 

Website: http://www.familiesunitedmission.com/campdesertkids/

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Camp Desert Kids

My youngest sister is 8. So, for all intents and purposes, she’s what I’ve always called a “post 9/11 military brat.” Basically, for the first 14 years of my life my dad had time to coach soccer, go to dance recitals, came home for dinner, and with the exception of a couple weeks here and there was always home at a regular time.

Not so for my littlest sister.

For the majority of her life, he has come home late for dinner, if he’s come home at all, hasn’t had time to coach soccer or go to dance recitals, and is more often than not, in a foreign country. Doing his job. People always comment in articles and on the news that it’s so hard for military kids, especially the younger ones. But she hasn’t ever known any different – so she’s not all that stressed out about it. In many ways, I think it’s harder for the kids who were 8 and 9 and such on 9/11.

Perhaps though, for little kids, the hardest part of deployment is not that mommy or daddy is gone, but simply that they do not understand where they are – it’s hard to conceptualize a country you perhaps can’t even pronounce.

That’s what Families United has spent the past several months developing a program called Camp Desert Kids.

The idea of the program is to help kids conceptualize where mommy or daddy goes during a deployment and what the people of Iraq and Afghanistan are like. That the kids go to school, do homework, and chores, play soccer, and have religious servicest to attend. People in Iraq and Afghanistan do the same things people in America do – they just do them differently.

Hopefully, through simulating a deployment and learning about where their parents are military kids will better understand and cope with deployment.

Until next time,

Katie

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Following in a Parent’s Boots

Off the top of my head, I can count more than 10 of my good friends who are currently in the Army, ROTC, or at West Point who have parents in or retired from the US Army. If I start thinking about friend’s older brothers and sisters, my parents’ friends kids, friends of friends, old neighbors, and such – the number is dizzying. And I’m sure I’ve forgotten more than a few.

What are the reasons for so many legacies of service? I’m sure it’s a variety of things – money for college, a way to give back, to carry on a legacy, to serve the United States. But it interests me regardless, I am not one of the people that decided to serve by joining the Army. No particular reason, I consider it one of the most amazing things a person can do. But there are days where it feels like I have already served and sacrificed for my country. And maybe it’s selfish to feel that way, I don’t know. I hope not.

I just know that as my friends put on their uniforms and combat boots, they are stepping forward to take the places of their parents – many of whom are some of the greatest military minds this country has seen since WWII. They have big boots to fill.

I think they’ll be fine.

Good luck to all who choose to follow in their parents’ combat boots or simply choose to serve.

Until next time,

Katie

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Halfway Home

This weekend I will be attending an event in North Carolina called Halfway Home Hockey. One of the brigades has gotten together, gotten military aprpeciation priced tickets to the local hockey team, and are going to a game. To celebrate what, you might ask?

They’re halfway home – halfway through this deployment, halfway until mom or dad comes home, halfway until the constant worry lessens, halfway until their family is whole again. So, they’re celebrating with food, raffles, games, and a hockey game in their town. They deserve it!

It’ll be a kind of celebration for me too. Not just of my fellow military family members being halfway to getting their loved one home, but less than halfway until my loved one is home. My dad should be returning in 2 months. These kinds of things are cause for celebration within the military community! We need a little help to keep up the hard work, to remind us why we’re waiting, and to remember that the end is near.

Congratulations, you’re halfway home!

 

Until next time,

Katie

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If I Had One (Million) Wish(es)

I think I would need to wish for more wishes to start. Often, when I’m frustrated or sad or angry I wish for things to be different.

I wish my dad didn’t have to go away.

I wish I didn’t move so much.

I wish I didn’t move at all.

I wish I had a home town.

I wish no military kids lost a parent to war.

I wish there weren’t so many new headstones in Arlington.

I wish away the days where it hurts to breathe.

I wish my sister knew what it was like to be a normal Army brat.

I wish my whole family was normal.

I wish everything was just a little bit easier.

On bad days, I just wish and wish and wish until suddenly there’s nothing left to wish for. I can’t think of anything else in my life I’d want to change. And then I think about myself and all the things I like about myself.

I’m incredibly proud of my country.

I’m incredibly proud of our military.

I’m incredibly proud of my dad for being in our military.

I’m amazed by all the things I have seen and the people I have met.

I’m thankful for my adaptability.

I’m thankful for being so aware of the opportunities being American presents me.

I’m thankful that my life has taught me that no one’s life is easy.

I’m thankful that I have learned to get through anything.

So, usually by the time I’m done with wishing and thinking I feel better. I realize life’s not so bad and will always get better. One day at a time. Do I still wish things could be a little bit easier? Always…but who doesn’t?

What do you wish for?

Until next time,

Katie

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Interview about Deployment with MKB Founder!

Study, Adolescents Handle Deployment Of Military Parents
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Adolescent children of frequently deployed soldiers are less stressed than conventional wisdom might indicate, according to a recent study.

Reporter: CNN Laurie Ure

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Adolescent children of frequently deployed soldiers are less stressed than conventional wisdom might indicate, according to a recent study.

Researchers at the Army War College’s Strategic Studies Institute found that although these teens generally experience higher stress levels than their non-military counterparts, they have better coping skills than the authors expected.

“The adolescents are a lot more sophisticated than we think they are,” said Leonard Wong, Army War College research professor and one of the study’s authors.

The study’s results were released Thursday.

Wong and co-author Stephen Gerras, both retired Army officers, said two factors in particular contribute to reducing the stress level of a child whose parent is deployed: a strong family and high participation in activities, especially sports.

The researchers, who say they are given academic freedom by the War College, found that Army adolescents cope better if they believe that America supports the war, and if they think that their deployed parents are doing something good for the country.

The 2009 study surveyed 559 Army adolescents, 56 percent of whom said they coped “well” or “very well” with deployments. Seventeen percent said they were coping “poorly” or “very poorly,” according to the report.

The survey findings indicated that the teens coped better with each deployment, according to Wong and Gerras, who later personally interviewed over a hundred military teens to gain more context.

“They’ve learned that Dad’s coming back. It’s not something that they want, but they understand,” said Gerras, who is a professor of behavioral sciences at the Army War College.

Katie Glenn, a college senior, told CNN she and her two younger sisters have each endured their father’s multiple deployments differently.

“My dad did not deploy until I was 14,” she said, so she was able to spend a lot of time with him during her pre-teens.

Her middle sister is in high school, and “remembers Dad coaching soccer and going to her dance recitals,” Glenn said. “But he missed her homecoming (and) probably won’t be there for her prom, she said.

Glenn’s youngest sister is a “post-9/11 military child,” she said, and will probably live the “military lifestyle” of “moving every two years her entire life.”

But, she adds, “We’re all proud of what he does, and we know what’s being asked of us.”

The Army War College results appear to clash with last December’s Rand Corporation study published in the American Journal of Pediatrics that suggested children of deployed service members face emotional and behavioral challenges.

But the Army War College authors insist the two studies are more similar than different, in that both reveal that military teens are more stressed than their “civilian” counterparts.

Rand “found that the length of parental deployment and the mental health of the nondeployed caregiver were significantly associated with the number of challenges experienced by children (as observed by the caregiver) during deployments,” Wong and Gerras write in their report.

“We looked more specifically at factors that influenced the stress,” said Wong, reiterating that their information came largely from the adolescents themselves, not their parents.

The authors of the Rand study did not immediately reply to a CNN request for comment.

Other behavioral experts said they were not surprised by either study’s findings.

“We’ve seen this before. If the parent does well, the kid does well, but if the parent doesn’t, the child doesn’t,” said Dennis Embry, president and CEO of Paxis Institute in Tucson, Arizona.

Embry’s concern is the time-testing effect. “What worries me is, with the economic crisis, the caregiving parents in lower-income military families are going to be more vulnerable now. Charitable contributions are down. That’s beginning to pervade the psyche of the caregiving spouses, and they become more stressed. The kids become more stressed,” he said.

Michelle Kelley, a psychology professor at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, said the concept that multiple deployments actually help military children is a “tough and age-old question.”

“The Rand report seems to indicate ‘no.’ The Wong and Gerras study seems to indicate that up to three deployments is associated with lower stress, so maybe these youth do learn to cope,” she said in an e-mail to CNN.

During Wednesday night’s State of the Union speech, President Obama said that he was giving his “full support” to service members.

“And that is why Michelle Obama has joined with Jill Biden to forge a national commitment to support military families,” he said.

Read the article here!

 

Until next time,

Katie

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